2dae is a quite a short dae for me.. jus had my mentorin period wit my mly teacher cikgu marnee.. honestly reali, i cant believe she felt sad n cried for me when i told her seriously wat r da probs i was facing back then n now still.. i myself i guess i'm immune to it oredi though relatin back wat took place last yr n quite recently kinda made me felt like breakin down into tears oso.. but i noe i'm stronger now.. unlike b4.. all tt has happen thru'out my life has change me alot i would sae.. probs i guess, everyone will face dem but how serious tt depends on da individual - frm family, relationships, friendships, studies.. financial oso.. etc. thinkin back, i do think i've been reali patient n tolerant of my dad's verbal abuses, crude sarcastic remarks.. friends' backstabbin, classmates' wrath of dislike etc.. it is so unlike me when last time - i would hav jus burst out in anger or slump straight into a serious mode of depression.. there was actually a time when da thought of suicide did cross my mind.. but luckily, though i tried i survived n i think back - it was silly. i noe life's nv easy even everyone says so but i guess i jus hav to tolerate it for a few more yrs n yah like wat my dad said - i could get out of da hse if i wan when i hav a stable career etc. it's mean n hurtful of him 2 actually sae tt.. but wat to do.. in fact, he's been like repeatin it over n over again for 4 consecutive yrs oredi.. i'm oredi startin 2 jus get things done in life n wateva is bein said by him - i decide 2 take the "in out da ears" approach.. my sistaz understan me.. da late nitez when i called dem up - sobbin n cryin quietly, all alone in my rm.. all dey could do was 2 listen on the other line.. but i was glad i could count on dem - god noez wat would hav happen during those nitez.. n till now, i still noe tt wateva it is.. ina n lin will jus b a fonecall away even if we're apart in distance.. i'm grateful oso 2 hav supportive teachers like ms tee n cikgu marnee.. truly blessed to hav met such nice carin ppl in my life journey.. i guess crossin paths wit these ppl hav nt oni change my life in a betta wae but oso made me open up my eyes n see da big picture.. ok, if ure readin my blog.. u would think i'm writin crap.. oni ppl whu're truly close to me will understan wat i'm actually "whining" about.. hehe.. WELL.. those are jus memories now.. tis yr i did sae to myself i wanna start afresh n so i will do so.. block out all negative vibes wat so eva.. n concentrate on da As..

i noe i may nt b a regular blogger like my other frenz but hey! i'm doin my best 2 update my blog everytime tau.. hehe.. niwae, my 19th bdae (22nd APRil) jus passed.. n it was kinda "great" lahz.. went 2 hav a seafood dinner wit my family, den i'm glad lahz.. my 2 sistaz n my other frenz remembered my bdae.. hehe.. it's da tot tt counts, nt da prezzies man.. niwae, i jus wish for gd health n gd results.. hehe.. been in pretty bad shape lately see lahz nv exercise hehe.. gosh, seriously tis blogging thingie is addictive i could sae??.. next wk, me havin my CA2 exam.. guess gotta realli study hard or else i can sae bye2 2 my As if i dun start revisin nw.. hehe.. easy 2 sae, harder 2 get down 2 serious wrk.. realli i feel like 19 is like WoAh! got more responsibility i guess? 2 more yrs n i'll be an adult (legally tt is) sumtimes realli i cant help thinkin abt ppl ard me.. my classmates.. seein dem makes me think.. aren't dey afraid of failin? dey seem 2 take things in life soo "kewl", in sucha a playful carefree manner.. dey nt worried ah.. haiz.. so childish.. well.. i guess ttz all for nw..

well..todae or shd i sae tonite happens to be da 1st time i started my very own blog.. so happy n excited. actually i wasn't into sucha thing but i guess i was influenced by frenz like fandi, johan, moiz n yep, recently my godbro yuhan.. it can be a joy at times i realised - on what one has to write in his/her blog but at times too, dere can be sad, painful moments.. all that i've read in my frenz' blogs.. i'm surprised at me gettin caught up in this "trend" but i'm positively sure i will hav a good time writing my blog.. i hav so much to write about in life reali dunno wher to start.. i guess i shall start writing about this coming thursdae.. it's sucha special dae to me i guess?.. my 19th bdae..to speak da truth, i'm harbourin mixed feelings about being 19 this yr actually.. i'm happy that i'm turning a yr older - guess i'll be a yr wiser n more mature.. but at the same time, i'm gettin older n 19 reminds me of me havin to sit for my A levs this yr.. i've realised that time passes soo fast.. n over da past yr, i'm nt sure issit coz of my stint as a student councillor or what but i've definitely grown up in my thinking.. suddenly i realised that after this yr, i may still continue studyin or may hav to start wrkin.. i realised that i'm nt young anymore, nt 16 or 17 but 19.. 2 yrs more n i'll legally be an adult oredi.. quite scary at how i think sum times..but it's even scarier when i found out how sum of my close frenz think hehe.. frankly speaking, i'm quite surprised at how sum of my classmates still hav the time to slack n fool around when it's jus 6 more mths to da A levs. i dunno y i think this wae, mayb coz it's 1.42am in da morning n i may nt be thinkin rite hehe.. but as my bdae approaches nearer.. i think i'll make a new resolution - "to stop slackin n get down to serious work, n i mean serious studyin n revisin".. sorry my frenz, after next wk (i wanna njoy my bdae wk definitely) - i'm gonna study n revise religiously n daily.. in fact, i think i'm a lil' late.. my 2 sistaz - as n ina definitely hav started revision n serious studyin..but i'll catch up.. i'm seriously startin 2 feel da pressure.. well.. i guess ttz all for now.. dun wanna wake up feelin tired tml esp when 1st 2 periods is PE..

2dae is such a boring dae.. got my stupid project work results.. wat a joke.. for all da work we've done.. i got a band 3.. well, ok lahz at least it's nt a fail..band 4 ttz is.. now in comp lab.. feeling hungry siakz.. i guess i'll end here for now..