tired from doing so much. watz e' point..

i really take my hat off tat person.. so clever and smart of her to manipulate with the entitlement and benefit of getting some time off from work for some personal (i'm sure unimportant) matters of hers.

supposedly 4 hrs.. tup tup.. it became 6hrs.. and she could take 2 hrs extra but claimed as 4hrs only instead 6.. wat a smart chick!

im pissed at the fact such a person exists to live well in this world.. OHH WHYYY somtimes there is not karma onto such hypocrites and bad eggs but on sum other poor soul..?
i've seen innocent ppl get worst off in their lives e.g. like the poor becomes poorer and the rich becomes more cunning as they get richer.. why like tat.. why is life so unfair..? those ppl who have suffered - isnt it enuf for them? and the rich.. nt rich enuf ke?

im feeling moody whole day.. coz tat incumbent is going away for about 1 and a half weeks ..and check this out : I HAVE TO "COVER" her work.. in the first place, we're not even of the same rank and scheme.. im just a wat.. she's a wat.. wat rite do i have to carry out her duties.. hah.. im nt in the position seyyy.. salary pun bukannye same.. wth.. they shd seriously pecat her contract and take in a new M..O one tat can work nt like tat fella.. pandai enjoy la she's the "perfect epitome" of a C-S who has very little work to do and shows others out there how the C-S prefer employees of her type.. oh ya rite, isnt it contradictory to wateva the C-S core values and ethical code of conduct..

here i am again.. blogging.. maybe nw i can blog more often ya.. depends on my mood..

been hectic.. been busy with so many commitments.. wat kind of commitments? nahh.. im nt telling.. it's personal.. sorrie!

i've learnt many new things and values in life as i grow older.. things values which even sumtimes my own parents can't/ didn't teach me.. these things one learnt through experiences in life.. through the ups and downs of life.. some ppl have so much downs in their life, they give up eventually .. some don't - they picked themselves up many times and each time they gained strength.. im the latter.. i believe one shd nvr give up no matter hw hard the trying is..

hmm.. i'll like to add smth to tat : oh ya, thanks to a human who has nth better to do but to blog abt me...?? well, my name was in her blog so i guess i have to thank her rite?? for wat? for making me an "overnight star".. thanks ya for giving me an opportunity to have like a few seconds of fame and notoriety..

hah.. now im famous i guess wif multipliers.. famous for the wrg reasons ya.. oh who cares.. my conscience is clear.. if i wanna officially and frankly say : there are few multipliers too whom I don like.. but am i gonna say their names like they did..??? forget it watz the use.. all tat bitching can only make one insane.. really insane i tell u.. hahaa..

to these ppl: thanks for making others' lives miserable but if u think it's working, nahh it isnt..
coz ppl like me rather NOT fall for the "traps set".. haha happy strategizing ya..
the more u try to make me fall, the more i'll persevere on to show u tat im not dumb and stupid like u to fall for such tricks.. the more i'll show tat i AM happy.. ohh do i hear paper tearing..?? does me being happy make u unhappy?? hah..

Private Affairs
Hate to say this.. all along I have been keeping rather quiet about things tat happen to me in my life along the way.. private stuff i mean.. and i really mean private affairs.. i'm not the sort to babble and "wash dirty linen in public" (like some ppl do abt their family probs la relative's probs la.. frens probs la.. sume hal2 yg tak ade kene mengene wif them sorry eh kalo terrase but im speaking on a general note here) i really hate such ppl.. dun go ard pretending and relating all ur sorrows to unknown strangers..

Private Affairs 2
Unknown strangers in this sense are strangers who know nuts abt the actual event or incidences which happened to "their so-called friends" no head no tail.. yet pandai2 je eh nak kasi comment la, kasi advice la.. the ppl who lament their "sob stories" to such strangers - i 've got no respect for them.. nak cari and mintak simpati ke pe?? ohh i rem this question/phrase very well.. FOR ME PERSONALLY, i dun care..i mean.. why shd i in the first place mintak others' kasihan/pity abt wat?? the probs in my life.. ? ya rite give me a million bucks and i tell u why...duh~ i dun owe others a living seyy.. the only ppl i genuinely care for in this world are my loved ones.. and i mean my parents who brought me up painstakingly..
Such ppl who suka lament2 byk2 ehhh, best thing to do : get a life lah and get urself admitted into IMH (institute of mental health).. and ppl who like to pity such bloggers yg lament2 abt nth but sadness in life - get a,life oso, u soo free eh?

Malaysia's Messy Political Situation = Rojak?
i like to comment on another case of stupidity and manipulation i think in my opinion.. a case which has gone so overboard too far-fetched i guess.. ? nwae, blogging is freedom of speech as long there are boundaries rite.. > in the recent case of Anuar and that boy Saiful (I think he just lurve the fame ya).. come on laa guys, mature up.. nak sumpah kat Qu'ran.. ye btul.. sumpah tak boleh main2 tau.. ade balaknye nanti.. but these ppl treat the Qu'ran like a "piece of toy" gitu.. senang je nak angkat sumpah depan the holy book.. it doesn't seem like a holy book anymore from my point of observation of the whole scenario.. malaysia's political situation : what has become of it? one man trying to swallow the other man.. ha..

Have not been blogging though I seriously told myself to do so.
Been super busy that is.
Meet-the-people sessions with the MP. Volunteer work. RC meetings. Grassroots leaders conferences. UniSIM's conferences with the Minister for Transport. wat else.. there's just so many events and activities on my agenda.

Am I breaking down? yes. I nearly did. But I'm hanging on until now.
The pillar of strength in my life, the one whom I really depend on when I have my ups and downs. The one whom I seek comfort with when I have sorrowful and moody days.
The one whom I thought of as my life, my hope, my guardian angel has sort of left me hanging by a thin piece of thread. Imagine a "cliff-hanger". yes. That's what I am feeling now.
Upset. Lonely. Uncertain. Suddenly I feel so lost without him by my side.
Have I been too hard and harsh on him?
It's been 3 days since we last contacted.
IF this is the way things are meant to be or worst still - to end. I'm not willing to accept the fact.
But fate indeed plays a cruel part in turning dreams into reality ya.
Must I go through the heartache again..?
Must history repeats itself again..?

I hate to say this but love hurts.
I'm a cynic right now. Blinded by angst and fury. Fueled by the things happening around me.
Blinded by what today's society is showing to me.
Angst? Pain? Fury? Mention all and I'll show the meanings of these words for I am right now, sinking deeper into misery and the holes of darkness.
I can only see blackness ahead of me.
I need that strong pair of hands, the same pair of hands to pull me out of the deepest dungeon that I've fallen into.